getting used to being used.

so it's been almost a year since i posted.

life flys by.

i've officially dropped out of my college, and resorted to community college online, while working 25 hours a week at a gym. No, not as a meathead trainer. I answer phones and book stuff. Exciting.

People always read my facebook posts and tell me to, for once, just stop thinking so much. I can't. Maybe it's the way my mind works, to always wander. "Not all things that wander are lost". But i am. See, I always meet people. I always make friends with them. And i always lend out a helping hand. I take after my mom so much in the fact that she always goes out of her way to make everyone else happy, yet she doesn't get treated the same way back. That's me, too. No matter what length i go to (to help people out), the respect and the curtsey is never there on their end. It's tiring. It's old. I hate it.

I always question, "how could people treat others that way"? How could EVERYONE I meet be so selfish and in their own fucked up little world? There is no answer, there is no excuse. It's the idea that we must mold ourselves into these robots that don't care about anyone...that don't give a shit about helping anyone else out. It's all about ourselves. I can't live like that.

Maybe it's because i'm a real person, or maybe it's because i'm a fake person. I wouldn't know whats real and whats fake anymore. Not in this present 2012, where ME means more than US.

sorry, just rambling and needed to blog about this. Not being negative, being straight up.*